The beginning:

And this is where myself and Miss Linz are headed. To the land of Pina Coladas!!

Melbourne has provided us with the worst weather for summer in ‘ages’. It’s hideous! There is no notion of ‘the light at the end of the tunnel’ if in fact there is no light to begin with. I have however been secretly working on my tan, with the aide of ‘Dove’ in a bottle tanning lotion and a quick five minutes at the Queen Victoria Market. I am not fearful because tonight Linz and I embark on our first full fledged journey (together) abroad.

The Plan:

Fiji for a couple of nights, to warm up and refresh the soul and then onwards to Hawaii, before hitting Fiji again on the way back.

The Disappointment:

The original plan was to go to Guatemala, but with the predicted cost of flights at approximately $5000 each, we both had decided that it was probably not the best financial decision.

The Aim:

At this point the only things we have agreed on so far are the 4 S’s; Sailors, Shopping, Sightseeing and Sunbaking. Although Linz is going to leave most of the sunbaking up to me, as she prefers an umbrella in the shade. I intend to write some chapters of my novel as well as escape into the mind of Russell Brand- My Booky Wooky. Linz on the other hand, has some reading of her own. We both agree that ‘working’ as such is to disappear. This is going to be a difficult task, as it will only be a matter of time before Bam emails me with something that needs fixing. I give it five days.

In terms of purchases, I intend to make one/two in the Leather Jacket department, and hopefully Zara will be able to supply me with one of those. Emma has requested and since the whole ‘eyelash’ refills for your birthday idea fizzed, the jacket will fill the void nicely. I also intend to purchase a handbag, this is in response to the ‘cat piss’ incident of 2010, where my Mimco handbag was destroyed by a little squirter. Unfortunately I was a little distracted, and the little urine attack happened right under my nose.. I did enjoy fishing out my wallet and keys and thank the higher power for not allowing the fluid to ruin my SONY touch screen camera. The last on the list of purchases (besides the Tiffany and Co visit) will be dresses, something to look pretty in, when the Melbourne weather warms up. I am trying not to purchase work wear, but we will see how we go.

We also aim to prove Silva wrong and not have a fight or end up hating each other. In times of crisis I shall return to Russell for enlightenment.

The Timeline:

So basically we won’t be back till the 16th of January, which gives me enough time to get my head around doing nothing.

The Mission:

I am not to return without at least one contact for Bam. Interestingly enough I am not sure how to ease into it.. but I will do my best.

Finally:

I am going to miss a few things about this hectic life, but seriously I am only gone for three and a half weeks.. and then I hit the Gold Coast to visit MR DOVER and MUCKY.

Stay tunned…

Adios Amigos!!